| .·*xº its not always rainbows and butterflies..ºx*·. |
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| so much for wishful thinking |
[26 May 2004|05:17pm] |
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you're so last summer -- tbs |
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everyday its the same thing. i see you. my heart melts. i get butterflies in my stomach. and i cant stop smiling. and i wish...just once...you would look at me the same way i look at you.
if only i could tell you how i really feel
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| plumduff |
[22 May 2004|10:57pm] |
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buddy holly -- weezer |
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well i havent updated in a while and A LOT has happened. i went to florida and met the whole crew: my dad, aunt, uncle, great aunt, grandma, great grandma, 5 cousins, and a dog named fufu. everyone was really nice and welcoming, however going there and meeting everyone made me realize how good i've had it all these years, and how they werent there for anything. i know i shouldnt look back on the past and all, but what if things were different? where would i live? how would i act? its just strange to think about. and i dont know if i should be grateful that my dad is with me now, or if i should be bitter because he was never with me before. every birthday, every christmas, my first loose tooth, my first bike, my communion, my confirmation, every school play, every graduation, EVERYTHING. he wasnt there for anything. and even though i sometimes hate him for that, i'm lucky that i did have people who were there for it all. and he acted so fuckin confident about himself too...like he told me 'oh i knew you would come back one day'. thats like a slap in the face, like he's too good to come and find me but he knew i would give in and run back to him. what if i didnt? he would never even know his own fuckin daughter. ugh i have to stop, i'm getting myself all worked up again.
well lets talk about the people who are always here for me. this weeked was fun, i got to hang out with my girls 24/7...allie, mand, meg, and samm. mwahz to you all. we went on meg's trampoline and the swings at crompond, played duck duck goose, and watched nickelodeon special scary movies. i think i just needed a weekend to pretend like i was 5 years old again. everyone needs a break from reality once in a while, being a teenager gets tiring. i'm also confused about some issues tho, and of course it has to do with boys. any drama in my life always has something to do with a boy. down with the male species! ah well i think its time for some good ice cream and a chick flick...the cure for everything.
--love,
plumduff pupfish (only 3 people understand what i'm talking about)
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| i'm still in lust with you |
[12 May 2004|07:06pm] |
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a favor house atlantic |
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yea so today was okay...and soooo HOT! my house needs an air conditioner, i'm dying over here. but anyways, i tried my first (and last) cigarette today, and i pretty much choked to death and smelled of smoke all day. so i dont think i'll be smoking again any time soon, its just not for me. besides the smoking incident, hanging out after school was more fun than i expected it to be. i got to play tic tac toe, dance in the halls to ringtones, and get hit in the boobs with an eraser (thanks matt.) so yea it was pretty fun, let me tell you. i'm so excited/nervous about going to florida...sunday morning is coming up soon. i think it will be a good experience for me tho. i cant plan a reaction when i get off the plane and see my father for the first time, but its gonna be intense and i'm ready for anything. i dont think i could have gone thru life not knowing where i come from, i dont know, i just need to do this. plus, i get to go to disney world! it doesnt get much better than that. well i'm gonna go sit in my air conditioned car now...later-
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[30 Apr 2004|03:28pm] |
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barbie girl! |
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T.G.I.F!!!
ahh i really need this weekend after the week from hell. hopefully things will get better :) if anyone wants to chill, call me and i'll try to squeeze you into my schedule. i love you.
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| two extremes |
[29 Apr 2004|05:19pm] |
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Come Back -- The Early November |
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sorry for being always there for you.
next time around i'll ignore you,
since that will make you want to be my friend again.
i guess i'm just so darn "clingy"
and it makes me wonder...
do i really have any true friends?
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| can you hear me scream |
[27 Apr 2004|07:07pm] |
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wish you were here -- pink floyd |
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its only tuesday, and already it has been one of the worst weeks i've had in a long time. there's just so much fuckin drama..i just wish it would all end already. i'm sick of people talking about me behind my back and then denying it, i know more than you think. and this whole competition thing has to end...i tried to walk away from the problem, but i just walked right into another.
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| swing swing swing |
[25 Apr 2004|12:53am] |
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the quiet things that no one ever knows |
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yea never make out with a guy in your kitchen, your parents may catch you..heh. but anyways, yea today was awesome. brian and joe came over at like 4, and they made my laugh by imitating someone and drawing on his yearbook picture. they are my hero's and i love them. and then everyone else came over and i really love my friends. their crazy and cool and awesome. and i sang with the band!! woohoo, that was the highlight of my day. so i just want to thank everyone for making my birthday (parts 1 and 2) special. i'll never forget it!! mwah
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| notice how i ignore you now |
[20 Apr 2004|07:14pm] |
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through with you -- maroon 5 |
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so i have my permit and i've been driving around a lot. i think i'm finally getting the hang of it. all my friends are awesome, and its great to be back in school (which i never thought i'd say). i also have a new crush(es), which is a plus because it shows that i am completely over some things. so yea, life is sweet.
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| I'M 16! |
[17 Apr 2004|01:16am] |
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SIXTEEN -- NO DOUBT |
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IT'S OFFICIALLY MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! I'M 16!!!!!!
ahhhh this is awesome. i could drive my new car, i could party even more, i'm spoiled with gifts, i have the best friends ever, i'm finally talking to my real dad, i love my family, things cant get much better than this. and today is going to be amazing...i cant wait to go in the limo to planet hollywood!! ahh! i'm finally really really happy, and it feels great. and i just want to thank all my friends who have always been there for me, you know who you are. so i've decided that this year is going to be different. i'm not going to let stupid things get in my way, and i will be myself no matter what anyone thinks. its corny, but i am only 16 once, and i might as well live it up. i know i will always remember this day. sooo i should go to sleep now, and wake up before 11:04 A.M. (the time i was born, duh) and then get all prettied up to party. YAY!
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| yay! |
[16 Apr 2004|02:38pm] |
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100 years -- five for fighting |
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1 DAY!!!!!!!!!!
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| they wont believe that you got a soul |
[15 Apr 2004|12:20am] |
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stellar |
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TWO MOTHER F'EN DAYS LEFT TIL APRIL 17! son of a batch of cookies, i'm gettin old. yay i cant wait.
reminder :: there's not much time left to get me a gift. i suggest you all hurry to the nearest shopping center with a credit card in hand. that is all.
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| i love my friends. |
[10 Apr 2004|08:50pm] |
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dane cook hahahha |
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today i went to the cheesecake factory, the most awesome place in the world. and i went with the most awesome people in the world. i realized what great friends i have, and no matter what they're always there for me and they could always cheer me up. yay :) samm is the person who will walk in the snow at night to my house just because i was crying over some jerk. she could always cheer me up, and she's always up for anything...i love her free spirit and her adventurous ideas. and stephanie is just awesome. she's crazy and original and she's the only one who could pull off a nose ring and pink hair. and allie is just the best. with her i could freak out over a bebe shirt and she wont think i'm absolutely nuts...and she always cheers me up with her optimistic atitude. so there you have it..i love my friends.
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| i heart you |
[10 Apr 2004|01:25am] |
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crushed |
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my immortal -- evanescence |
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...i wish i hated you...
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| monkey fucl<ing coconut! |
[09 Apr 2004|08:38pm] |
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believe -- yellowcard |
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thats it. just 2 more days of spring break. my fun is almost over...grr. but then again, that just means its getting closer to my sweet 16...yay! i'm really bored and i didnt feel like going out tonight, which is really unusual for me since i always try to get away from my house. hmm... tomorrow i'm going to samm's house to model for her, that should be fun. maybe we could even experiment with some nude photos, you know i always wanted to be a playboy bunny! woohoo! haha sorry i'm getting carried away again. oo by the way, if anyone is up for the cheesecake factory tomorrow night let me know :) well i'm gonna go watch some re-runs of the munsters, bye now
p.s. the name of this entry is dedicated to stephy and jeffy
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| flahes of light and mocasins |
[09 Apr 2004|12:39am] |
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shut up -- black eyed peas |
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the last few days have been really awesome. yesterday i spent time with samm, steph, mandy, megan, and allie...which was really great since i havent seen them in too long (with the exception of samm who i see practically everyday..luv ya!) and we ended up making plans to go to incubus which stephanie is completely psyched for! and we have to find a way to get allie into that britney concert we so wanna go to. annddd the annual trip to the cheesecake factory. hanging out with my girls was extra fun, especially when we pretended to drive to town in my honda. i really love my car, i haven't gotten over it yet...even if i'm only allowed to drive it up and down my driveway, whatever works!
today was pretty kewl too...samm dragged me to kfc, and even tho i ruined my diet its all good. then i went to jeff's house with steph and made him a lj! yay! and jeff you must change the curious george picture, i'm not feelin it.
and stephanie i love your pink hair and nose piercing. you are my idol
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| I HAVE A BRAND NEW SHINY CAR. |
[31 Mar 2004|06:18pm] |
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TiPsY. |
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ok listen up cuz this is one of the best days of my life. i got an early birthday present today...A CAR!!!! A 2004 RED HONDA CIVIC COUPE WITH A SPOILER, 2 DOORS, AND BLACK INTERIOR. HELL MOTHERFUCKIN YES. sorry if i seem like i'm bragging, but i'm just reallyyyyy happy right now. plus my friends should be happy too..this means i could drive you around in a super-de-dooper car. YESSSS! ahh well i'm gonna go sit in MY car now, since i cant drive it yet..but i'm getting my permit on april 17!! which is a reminder to you all that you still have 17 days to get me a present ;)
xoxo
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| you's a hoe |
[07 Mar 2004|10:25pm] |
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just the sound of my television |
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thank you katy for this slut test. i now know that i am sluttier than 64% of the world, what an accomplishment
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| bleh |
[16 Feb 2004|02:41pm] |
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IM's |
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so i'm sick..AGAIN. this really sucks, especially since now i am stuck home watching the same friggin movies over and over again..there goes my fun-filled vacation! oh well, i'll find something to do.
P.S. Samantha i miss you! come back from mexico!
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| ??? |
[05 Feb 2004|08:01pm] |
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keep never changing -- the movielife |
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i'm really confused about something, and i'm not sure who to talk to because it is kind of personal, but i just need help deciding. what if someone who stranded you a long time ago wanted to be in your life again? would you except them, or just tell them to forget it? i dont know, in a way i'm curious to find out what would happen if i did go back to this situation, but on the other hand i dont think i want to. i'm sure none of you have any idea what i'm talking about, but i just need to figure this out for myself. i just dont know what to do...
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